Traces Of Nuts, still sitting pretty in the iTunes UK comedy top 100 with more than 200,000 downloads now in the bag, celebrate a curious 2008 with a bumper special of the best material from the past twelve months.

Featuring a cast of dozens, sheer bloody laziness precludes us from working out who was in what and telling you about it. If you get bored over Christmas you could always check out the show notes for shows 13-24 inclusive where you’ll find all the original listings naming and shaming the culprits.

Three tunes from the splendid Pete Gold (with guest Nick Swift on ‘Love All’) feature in this episode alongside various background music brazenly plucked from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com).

Check out www.tracesofnuts.mevio.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Simon Carter has written a pantomime for his local theatre group. Read all about it at www.rumpysrevenge.blogspot.com.  

We wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.

Traces Of Nuts Presents: 'SEVEN GROOMS FOR ONE SISTER' by BOB SINFIELD & TOM POOLE

Join Inspector Flint and Sergeant Bone - Scotland Yard's worst detectives -as they investigate seven grisly murders in the curious world of puppeteering.  All seven were married to the same woman: Sister Amanda of the Chruch of St. Ignatius the Fealer (sic).  Can Flint crack the case without falling in love with her himself?  Unlikely.

Episode 1 (of 2)

Cast:-

SIMON CARTER - Godfrey Thinnes
LYNSEY FROST - Alice Blaize
LINDLEY GOODEN - DS Brian Bone
AMANDA LIBERMAN - Sister Amanda Shale
DAVID LUCAS - Henry Bunce
KENNETH MICHAELS - Piers Jephcott/Vivian Gorble
SIMON MOODY - DCS Gordon Bolderson
NAOMI PAXTON - Pastor Grizelda Corkling/Bertha Machin MD
BOB SINFIELD - DI Duncan Flint
ROY WESKIN - Leslie Gorble
       
Music: LINDLEY GOODEN
Producers: DAVID LUCAS & BOB SINFIELD

Some explicit content. After shabbily taking November off, iTunes top comedy 100 podcasters Traces Of Nuts return with a strictly non-Christmassy offering for December 2008. We tried to succeed with our Christmas single last year. And we lost out to Leona Lewis. So big cheesy Yuletide knob-ends to making any kind of effort this year.

Not that anyone reads the show notes anyway, so here’s another recipe.

Orange custard soufflé – serves 2.

Ingredients

30g/1oz butter, 2 tbsp caster sugar, 4 egg whites, 2 oranges, grated rind, 8 tbsp ready made custard, 9 small frogs, Desmond Lynam.

Method

1.Take two small ramekin size soufflé dishes. Rub with half the butter. Sprinkle with one tablespoon of caster sugar. Vigorously spank the vicar.
2. Whisk the egg whites until stiff. Beat in one tablespoon caster sugar. Shave a small gerbil.
3. Mix the zest into the custard and fold into the egg white.
4. Spoon into the ramekins and bake for 15-20mins at 180C/350F/Gas 4. What hairy nipples!

Also, in case you were interested, this show features finance tips for chavs, penis-shaped vegetables, granny’s hidden webcam, dubious doggy cross-breeding, treatment for those vital anti-boogies, the continuing adventures of Winky-Wank and Makka Knackers plus all the latest headlines from the Spurious and Curious newsdesk.

We apologise unreservedly for the Health Spa sketch. Seriously. We are so ashamed.

Starring Chris Baxter, Stephan Bessant, Simon Carter, Gideon Clear, Pete Gold, Carmel Hutchcraft, Andrew Jordan, David Lucas, Robert Mills, Ridanne Sheridan, Bob Sinfield, Craig Willis and Jon Wood.

‘Typing Song’ by Pete Gold.

Also featuring music from Johnny Ferreira, Lee Maddeford, Brandon Sollins and Freddie Wong c/o the Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com.

Bob Sinfield - www.doctorsinuk.com. Pete Gold - www.petegold.co.uk.

Check out www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Written and produced by Traces Of Nuts. Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy, 2008. All rights reserved.

If it’s good enough for Wham’s ‘Last Christmas,’ it’s good enough for UK-based sketch troupe Traces Of Nuts. We present another chance to listen to Master Ossett Flushdyke and The Minor Swelling Male Voice Choir in this stirring ballad for Christmas 2007 … er … 2008.

Music written and performed by Jamie McGuire. Lyrics by Simon Carter.

Starring Simon Carter, Gideon Clear and Andrew Jordan. Produced for Traces Of Nuts by David Lucas.

The Traces Of Nuts and Ossett Flushdyke comedy shows can be downloaded free from www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com.

Also check out www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Christmas squirrel photo by Sbpoet c/o www.flickr.com.

Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy / Jamie McGuire 2008. All rights reserved.

DR SIN'S LAUGHTER ZONE is a facetious rag-bag presented by BOB SINFIELD (BA 3rd class borderline scrape-through) and LYNSEY FROST, the Medusa of mirth.

Today's farrago includes THE FROST REPORT in which Lynsey sounds off, and Bob sounds even more off, and various topical sideswipes at all and sundry.

Plus top tunes from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) by DEIRDRE FLINT, PAUL AND STORM, DOGS MUST BE CARRIED and SPRING-HEELED JACK'S ORIGINAL SWINGING JASS BAND. Also features a cameo from the divine Nigel Campbell. It all promises to be an underpant-changing experience.

Lovingly brought to you by the good chaps of Traces Of Nuts - www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Some explicit content. iTunes UK Comedy Top 100 podcasters Traces Of Nuts throw caution to the wind, and once more utterly compromise their dignity, with more lovingly crafted smut masquerading as humour.

Mindful that no-one reads the show notes, here’s a recipe for some lovely buttery flapjacks.

Ingredients - 100g/3½oz unsalted butter (melted), 50g/1¾oz caster sugar, 50ml/2fl oz clear honey (plus extra for drizzling), 200g/7oz oats, icing sugar (to dust).

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.
2. Line a baking sheet with greaseproof paper.
3. Place all the ingredients into a bowl and mix together.
4. Spoon the flapjack mixture onto the greaseproofed baking sheet, and place into the oven to cook for 10 minutes.
5. Remove the flapjacks and transfer into the freezer for five minutes to set and firm.
6. Once the flapjacks are set, remove from the freezer and cut into chunks.
7. To serve, place onto a serving plate and dust with icing sugar and drizzle over with honey.

Also, in case you were interested, this show features advice on whether you’re homosexual, equal opportunities advice from a Dalek, swimming pool chemicals that turn your plops radioactive, creosoted chickens, a violent ‘knock knock’ joke and more exciting adventures with Dildo Baggins.

Starring Chris Baxter, Stephan Bessant, Simon Carter, Gideon Clear, Pete Gold, Andrew Jordan, David Lucas, Naomi Paxton, Bob Sinfield, Jon Throup, Becky Whitcroft, Craig Willis and Jon Wood.

‘Sorry’ by Pete Gold.

Also featuring music from Intelect, Lee Maddeford and Freddie Wong c/o the Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com.

Bob Sinfield - www.doctorsinuk.com. Pete Gold - www.petegold.co.uk.

Check out www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Written and produced by Traces Of Nuts. Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy, 2008. All rights reserved.

Some explicit content. Impressed with the neat way that this sentence ends with four words which both rhyme AND mean similar things, iTunes top 100 comedy podcasters Traces Of Nuts are back with more lewdness, rudeness, crudeness and nudeness.

This month’s key issues:

1. Should Brian from IT really have banished Vortox the Warlock to a demon dimension?
2. Is the campsite serious about the ‘no bazooka’ rule?
3. Is ‘Top Tips’ again a bit too political? Would a tits joke have done the job instead?
4. Olympic shopping – should it not be a contact sport for health and safety reasons?
5. Can Don Corleone really rely on ‘In A Jiffy Couriers’ to discretely dispose of his victims?
6. Is the monster in ‘Lost’ really a giant duck? If so, can we see its feathers?
7. And Roscoe out of the ‘Dukes Of Hazzard’ – a tosser?

All this plus not entirely complimentary comments about the ‘Sex And The City’ movie and back to the military for Pete Gold’s mum. Eyes right!

Starring Chris Baxter, Stephan Bessant, Simon Carter, Gideon Clear, Pete Gold, David Lucas, Sarah Parnell, Naomi Paxton, Bob Sinfield, Jon Throup, Craig Willis and Jon Wood.

‘Corporal Mum’ by Pete Gold.

Also featuring music from angelpig, Cello Journey, Lee Maddeford, Liz Primeaux and Freddie Wong c/o the Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com.

Visit the following nuts at your leisure. Bob Sinfield - www.doctorsinuk.com. Pete Gold - www.petegold.co.uk.

Check out www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Written and produced by Traces Of Nuts. Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy, 2008. All rights reserved.

DR SIN'S LAUGHTER ZONE is a facetious rag-bag presented by BOB SINFIELD (BA 3rd class borderline scrape-through) and LYNSEY FROST, the Medusa of mirth.

Today's farrago includes THE FROST REPORT in which Lynsey sounds off, and Bob sounds even more off, and various topical sideswipes at all and sundry.

Plus top tunes from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) by DOGS MUST BE CARRIED, THE LASCIVIOUS BIDDIES, SPRING-HEELED JACK'S ORIGINAL SWINGING JASS BAND, and LYNN JULIAN (COOKIE CUTTER GIRL). Also features cameos from the divine Corinne Emerson and Ridanne Sheridan. It all promises to be an underpant-changing experience.

Lovingly brought to you by the good chaps of Traces Of Nuts - www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Some explicit content. iTunes top 100 comedy podcasters Traces Of Nuts delight in the subtle creamy smoothness of their latest mirthsome funfest.

This month in particular we ask:

1. Is flinging Big Brother contestants into a pit slightly less humane than just shooting them?
2. Is the train announcer the only one taking a poo at the next stop?
3. Is ‘Top Tips’ a bit too political for Traces Of Nuts? Should we just have stuck to knob gags?
4. Does the Abyssinian Beaver Fish really spurt poison from its rectum?
5. What’s a good wine to drink with Hula Hoops?
6. Why is that Young Conservative smothered in butter?
7. And is that a hoodie breaking into your car?

All this plus gay Irishmen with badminton rackets and beautifully wrought embroidery from Pete Gold.

Starring Chris Baxter, Stephan Bessant, Simon Carter, Gideon Clear, Pete Gold, David Lucas, Robert Mills, Sarah Parnell, Naomi Paxton, Bob Sinfield, Nick Swift, Jon Throup, Craig Willis and Jon Wood.

‘Love All’ by Pete Gold and Nick Swift. ‘Just A Man’ by Pete Gold.

Also featuring music from Cello Journey, Lee Maddeford and Freddie Wong c/o the Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com.

Bob Sinfield? Him at www.doctorsinuk.com. Pete Gold? Larging it at www.petegold.co.uk. Nick Swift? Gotta love him at www.nickswift.com.

Check out www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Written and produced by Traces Of Nuts. Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy, 2008. All rights reserved.

Some explicit content. Spiffing! The simply super UK comedy sketch troupe Traces Of Nuts take Timmy The Dog to the woods for a smashing picnic, with lots of cake and scrummy sandwiches, all washed down with lashings of ginger beer and todger gags.

In this month’s scrumptious helping of fun we ponder the following:

1. How did McCluskey get Mick Jagger’s number?
2. How far would Tony go for promotion?
3. Why do the murderers always turn up when Poirot invites them?
4. Does Badger really like beaver that much?
5. And can Paul McKenna make you thin?

All this plus moronic modulating from Pete Gold, Roger Funneldunk and Spunky The Wonder Poodle and a pint of finest Cockmuncher.

Starring Stephan Bessant, Ian Bennett, Simon Carter, Gideon Clear, Lynsey Frost, Pete Gold, Andrew Jordan, David Lucas, Dave Murphy, Bob Sinfield, Becky Whitcroft, Craig Willis and Jon Wood.

‘Love Song’ by Pete Gold.

Also featuring music from 1, Don Chihuahua, Fluox Speelt Fluox, Lee Maddeford and Freddie Wong c/o the Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com.

The good doctor Bob Sinfield can be found at www.doctorsinuk.com. Pete Gold loiters with intent at www.petegold.co.uk.

Check out www.tracesofnuts.btpodshow.com, www.myspace.com/tracesofnutscomedy and www.tracesofnutscomedy.co.uk.

Written and produced by Traces Of Nuts. Copyright © Traces Of Nuts Comedy, 2008. All rights reserved.