Women aren't cock hungry wenches, I thought I would tell you that just in case you didn't know, I didn't know this until someone told me last week, shocking stuff I'm always the last to know

this week as usual I'm talking about shits, sexy pictures and the queen getting swans to attack 6 year old girls.

I laughed a lot this this week about myself mentioning bloody shits and me telling the story of someone taking a picture of a huge poo at work. With the comment of "you had to make you own entertainment in those days"

some nice quotes this week

when I go out binge drinking on the weekend
they should have special booze for kids
don't dribble on people who aren't your friends
the meaning of life is you are the peanut on the shit
who the fuck uses corn hole?
and I got stung on the fanny by a tarantula
one minute wet is good, wet ladies, the next minute wet is bad, wet fart?
your Dad is sharking in on your girlfriend

The contents of this weeks episode

Hosk Standup
religious backlash from Doctor Who watchers
stuff on the Internet isn't totally true shocker

Hosk Fact
it's illegal to do the Nazi salute and goose step in Germany!

Hosk Story
dog dribbles on Hosk's trousers
do you want some sexy pictures?
taking picture of poo in toilet seems normal?
I typed Hosk into the Internet and it exploded.
I had a dream last night
a gaggle of kids hanging over bridges?
why are wets dreams good but wet farts bad?

New Nuggets
Queen apologies for swan attack
the problem with binge drinking
man reveals how snake bit his penis

Sun Stories
Parents don't have bum chin
texts - how do I find 2 women who are into threesomes

song
in the beginning
lodzy lodzy lodzy

finishing off with the muck ups


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 41 - Queen apologies for swan attack


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

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We still in the lovely Lodz and listening to this you have to say well done Lodz for surviving the invasion

This episode includes the fantastic and infamous Zero Tolerance discussion. So if we have learnt one thing, it's not to party with Wiggy.

One of the group tries to put his knob through his wedding ring in the middle of a crowded pub.


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

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If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 40 - Lodz part 3 - Zero tolerance


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

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Now we go on to the saturday of the trip to Lodz in Poland and it involved much boozing and talking about the location of the second largest fountain in Europe? Locky and Webb step up the mark with some fantastic drunken gibberish.

Full to the brim with drunken logic and foul mouthed ranting, just what we all like



If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

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If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 39 - Lodz part 2 - where is Europe's seconds biggest fountain?


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

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Todays episode is a Stag do special from my trip to Lodz, it is a fine blend of story telling, live recordings, quotes from Lodz in your pocket and live chat from our favourite Polish man Bernard Hoskoskhy.

So if you have never been to Poland and Lodz, which is the second biggest city in Poland but is a bit run down. The plus side is they have the second largest fountain in Europe and loads of bars and the booze is fairly cheap. So if you haven't been this is the podcast for you, so you can decide if you want to Poland.

For those of you who attending the Stag do, I believe we may have been more pished than we knew at the time.

No humans were injured during this recording


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 38 - Lodz Stag do part 1


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

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Howdy people I just thought I would let you know I work at speed, I’m a work cheetah. I’m back from a week off with a mixture of stuff with details such as Bat’s out of hell go 25 miles an hour and flowers are waving at the bees. Why don't religious people pray for 3 breasted women and 5 legged chickens

New nugget
Judges aren’t allowed to wear makeup
Flowers are waving to the Bees
Granny brings in with hangbag full of grenades
Cyclist kills person whilst furiously cycling

Hosk Standup
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Why are pools Kidney bean shaped?
Are people abusing the power of Prayer

Sketches
Benard Hoskoskhy – she is considered one of the ugliest women in Poland

Hosk Story
I shit myself
Why can you only open one work draw
Have you ever heard of uncle Ben’s Podcast
What happens if you type you name into the internet
Advice from the commander
Why are wet dreams bad

Hosk Facts
Hosk learns the word Matricide

End with Muck ups


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 37 - Do you know someone who is abusing the power of prayer?


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

finally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTE

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Welcome people to the 40th episode of Hosks Half Hour and just remember its hard talk to when you friending off cramp.

My favourite quote this week from the Internet's funniest podcast is "my rod is so big it can be shared between five mouths"

Indeed

Sketches
Unexpected new – Atomic wedgie for Darling
Bernard Hoskoshky – Peterborough is dangerous man
Mark E Smith – Finger of Fudge
When Nature attacks – ginger cats

Hosk Stories
Hosk has a groin strain
If you had a potion to cause impotence would you use it
Toilet talk
Sporty magic tree air freshener

Hosk Facts
Someone invents oxygen

News Nugget
Pirates make a comeback with grenade lauchers
Cows are the biggest threat to the planet
Plain unlucky
Sonic screwdriver man

Spammy goodness
Spam folder - make your weapon esteemed
Spam poetry

And massive load of muck ups


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 36 - Are girls giving you the big eye?


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

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Here is this weeks collection of Bon Mots and thoughts from the Hosk, We start off with a big of Briggs this week and then it just gets better and better until we reach the finale of the muck ups

Hosk Investigates
Apprentices explain differences between Halal and Kosher meat

Sketches
Unexpected new – Gillian McKeith is what she eats
Gary Barlow – Robbie gives comedy awards to wrong person
Benard Hoskoshky – go back to Poland
Colonel Filth – Are you Janice’s boy

Hosk Fact
The genesis of the word idiot

Film idea - Biff Reece Jones

Hosk Stories
Hosk story – I told them about you starring in a sex show
Hosk goes to the sandwich shop with pound coin boy and luncheon meat boy
I went into my local corner shop and got all philosophical on its arse

New Nugget
Penis thefts' cause panic in the congo
Darwin awards – idiots are always pushing back the boundaries
Dinosaurs were shagging when they were eight


If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 35 - Penis thefts' cause panic


if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

finally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTE

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This week we usher back to of my favourites, the northern man Geoff Lockerby and the Business Man Dom McCready. Another favourite part of this episode is the inspirational marketing leaflet sent to the Hosk from the milkman - Wall mounted can crusher anyone?

Sketches
Business man – attends a meeting
Benard Hoskoshky – toad in the hole
Geoff Lockerby – goes out to buy some corn beef hash
Drunken Philosopher – tries staying in

Stand up
The Milk Deliveries Leaflet
Being a conductor is the easiest job in the world

Hosk Stories
Hosk goes to the dentists – plaque is a never tiring foe
When a biscuit isn’t of the air variety it could be a loaf of the meat variety – what age should you stop pooing yourself in public?
Hoskcast is a word made up by the Hosk – who would have guessed it?
Misleading cash points
Hosks Mum is in for a shock when she buys Raymond Chandler book

News nugget
Sperm donor awareness
The prisoners dilemma
MP’s are enraged when they find out they are being bugged

Sun Stories
Brother has tricky problem

We finish off with the muck ups



If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 33 - Gymnasts lose points for removing leotard from arse!

if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

finally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTE

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I thought I would sneak in a midweek episode of Hosks Half Hour, it's a bit unusual with rapping Reverand and odd stories about dogs. Still that's the way the world is heading these days isn't it.

There also could be a record for the amount of times the words naked chubbers is mentioned? Although I will need to confirm with Norris Mcwhirter on that

This is what is included in the worlds funniest podcast in this episode

Sketches
Did we win the war despite Waddle missing a penalty?
A local singer
Prostitutes are illegal
Driving around
Proclaimers joke

Hosk Stories
Going to Tesco’s
Gymnasts lose points for removing leotard from arse
Penis envy – look the penis stretching device!
Don’t hotcock yourself
I wonder what Leonard Nimoy is up to
A word a day – polyglot
Definition of sad - The Hosk is at home Saturday night watching cable guy
Man Stroke women is wanky

Songs
The Rapping Reverend
The Hosk does his paper work
The odd dog story

News nugget
To catch a peado you have to become a peado
John Prescott suffered from Bulimia for ten years

Sun letters
Tot killed sex

Muck ups



If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 33 - Gymnasts lose points for removing leotard from arse!

if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

finally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTE

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Get that friday 3 day weekend bank holiday feeling, start it off with a bit of Hoskcast or Podchat as it has also been known as. This weeks funny podcast includes the usual mix of sketches, stories, standup and news related humour all tweaked, stretched, speeded up and slowed down much to my amusement

Sketches
Mark E Smith - Pick and Mix
Drunken Philisphor - the future is a two pint glass
Hosk interviews Hosk - what is it your fear
Grandpa Jack - keep your pecker up
unexpected news - Jamie Oliver attacks chubby boy

Hosk Standup
God is a modelling nerd
radio adverts don't work

Hosk Stories
Hosk has a hair cut
What is the taste of England
watching man on crutches making Tea
Hosk is the worst consultant ever

News Nuggets
Mark E Smith would happily kill a squirral
Estate agents killing

Sun Letters
best friend goes out with granny

muck ups




If you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me on

hoskshalfhour@gmail.com

If you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 32 - God is a modelling nerd!

if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgy

Don't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one below

Podcast feed Subscribe to feed

finally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTE

http://digg.com/podcasts/Hosks_Half_Hour

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