BritCaster.com - aggregated UK podcast feedBritCaster.com brings the entire UK podcasting spectrum into a single location, enabling you to samle the best of UK audio and video podcasts in one place.
http://britcaster.com
en12 May 2008, 12:01BCAggregatorThe No1 in aggregated podcast feedsBritCaster provides the only place where you can find a comprehensive and constantly refreshed feed containing the latest podcast programmes to be released from within the UK.BritCaster.comPodcast Imagebritcaster,UK,British,English,Scottish, Welsh,Irish,Ireland,England,Wales,Scotland,podcast,feed,sport,entertainment,news,talk,musicinfo@britcaster.comBritCaster AdminSowerby & Luff Rewind - episode 2
11 May 2008 @ 12:01 pm +0000
http://www.comedy365.co.uk
Comedy 365More classic clips from The Sowerby & Luff Show, featuring two helpings of Candy Carrotcake, some panda poop paper, and Stephen Hawking's answer to the big question: How many times could the country of Wales fit onto the surface of the planet Jupiter? Plus Planet Comedy investigates alternative therapies. Warning: contains contagious laughter.Comedy 365http://www.comedy365.co.ukMoney (Part 1)
11 May 2008 @ 12:00 pm +0000
http://www.salfordelimchurch.org/
Salford Elim Church PodcastThe first sermon in a series on money.Salford Elim Church Podcasthttp://www.salfordelimchurch.org/St Andrew's On Three Counties RadioOn the 4th of May 2008, BBC Three Counties Radio visited St Andrews Church and recorded the service and interviewed a number of our regulars there. This recording was taken off air as broadcast on their religeous afairs program called "Melting Pot".
The recording is a little over half an hour and features our new praise and worship band at St Andrews, along with the interviews.
The recording starts with:
Introduction by Ian Pearce Come On and Celebrate Lord I Lift Your Name On High Chris Barnes interview (reader) Give Thanks with A Greatful Heart Russell and Gail (members of the band) My Jesus, My Saviour Mary Barker (representing the childrens groups) We Want To See Jesus Lifted High Ken Crossett (admistrator at St Andrews) How Great Is Our God Rev' Joy Daniel (Vicar) Blessed Be Your Name Outro by Ian Pearce
]]>11 May 2008 @ 09:17 am +0000
http://www.btpodshow.com/shows/?show=sermons
St Andrew's SermonsOn the 4th of May 2008, BBC Three Counties Radio visited St Andrews Church and recorded the service and interviewed a number of our regulars there. This recording was taken off air as broadcast on their religeous afairs program called "Melting Pot". The recording is a little over half an hour and features our new praise and worship band at St Andrews, along with the interviews. The recording starts with: Introduction by Ian Pearce Come On and Celebrate Lord I Lift Your Name On High Chris Barnes interview (reader) Give Thanks with A Greatful Heart Russell and Gail (members of the band) My Jesus, My Saviour Mary Barker (representing the childrens groups) We Want To See Jesus Lifted High Ken Crossett (admistrator at St Andrews) How Great Is Our God Rev' Joy Daniel (Vicar) Blessed Be Your Name Outro by Ian Pearce Enjoy! St Andrew's Sermonshttp://www.btpodshow.com/shows/?show=sermonsCornucopia Radio Podcast 2
11 May 2008 @ 07:58 am +0000
http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk
Cornucopia Radio Show PodcastListen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen..............
This week we have: Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging...
If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening....Cornucopia Radio Show Podcasthttp://www.cornucopia-radio.co.ukMacFever Dose #20MacFever Dose #20
Show Notes:
I’m not green screen again today, my new green screen has arrived, but now I’m waiting on my lights, you can’t green screen properly without the correct lighting.
First I would like to thank our new sponsor GoToMeeting.
If you haven’t tried Go To Meeting, the easiest and most affordable way to hold online meetings, you probably don’t know how EASY it is!
Here’s how it works.
First, sign-up for a FREE Trial – it takes just two minutes! Schedule an ONLINE MEETING in advance or on the fly! Invite attendees to your online meeting.
It’s that easy! Use Go To Meeting for presentations, collaborating, training or product demos.
Try Go To Meeting FREE right now for 30 days! For this special offer, you must visit w w w dot go to meeting dot com slash techpodcasts. That’s go to meeting dot com slash techpodcasts for a FREE trial.
Today I talk about the Rasterbator, you may of heard of it before, as quite a lot of people have covered it.
Basically it is a tool that allows users to enlarge an image over a series of pages, creating a mosaic effect.
]]>11 May 2008 @ 06:54 am +0000
http://macfever.co.uk
MacFeverMacFever Dose #20
Show Notes:
I’m not green screen again today, my new green screen has arrived, but now I’m waiting on my lights, you can’t green screen properly without the correct lighting.
First I would like to thank our new sponsor GoToMeeting.
If you haven’t tried Go To Meeting, the easiest and most affordable way to hold online meetings, you probably don’t know how EASY it is!
Here’s how it works.
First, sign-up for a FREE Trial – it takes just two minutes! Schedule an ONLINE MEETING in advance or on the fly! Invite attendees to your online meeting.
It’s that easy! Use Go To Meeting for presentations, collaborating, training or product demos.
Try Go To Meeting FREE right now for 30 days! For this special offer, you must visit w w w dot go to meeting dot com slash techpodcasts. That’s go to meeting dot com slash techpodcasts for a FREE trial.
Today I talk about the Rasterbator, you may of heard of it before, as quite a lot of people have covered it.
Basically it is a tool that allows users to enlarge an image over a series of pages, creating a mosaic effect.
Remember E-mail all your feedback and comments to Jack@MacFever.co.uk
Direct Download
MacFeverhttp://macfever.co.ukBill Everatt - Underground Edition.
]]>11 May 2008 @ 06:25 am +0000
http://trunkguy.com
TrunkGuy.com ReleaseJoin us as we enjoy the sun, the sand and the sea air in El Morche, Spain. This is the first video pod cast recorded whilst on holiday. I hope you feel as relaxed after watching this as we do from our week in the sun.
TrunkGuy.com Releasehttp://trunkguy.comLicking Balls
11 May 2008 @ 06:00 am +0000
http://www.colonel-radioshow.co.uk
The Colonel RadioshowThe Colonel returns... Sage is sporting shorts and Crabtree is in silk... What exactly is the relationship between Dale Winton and the President of Iran? Also this week... beating and whipping, celebrity chefs, Mr. Blobby, fat people and fondlingThe Colonel Radioshowhttp://www.colonel-radioshow.co.ukF1 Digest - Turkey GP
]]>11 May 2008 @ 05:51 am +0000
http://www.sidepodcast.com/
Sidepodcast : Your Weekly F1 PodcastSome of the best overtaking we have seen in a long time took place in Turkey, and some fascinating strategy choices as well. Catch up with all the action, and the aftermath with F1 Digest.Sidepodcast : Your Weekly F1 Podcasthttp://www.sidepodcast.com/planet_parsons_084Download Standard Podcast
]]>11 May 2008 @ 05:10 am +0000
http://www.planetparsons.net
Planet Parsonsearly! how are you?
wasps cats
walk the walk
theatre into the hoods
speed the plow
music
christopher dallman nightime in the city
music.podshow.com
love & light
justgiving.com/lynnparsons
Download Standard PodcastPlanet Parsonshttp://www.planetparsons.netAuthor 2.0
11 May 2008 @ 04:46 am +0000
http://podcast.litopia.com/
Litopia After DarkTonight on LITOPIA AFTER DARK we're delighted to have as our special guest an acclaimed author who could be considered a signpost to the future. In the words of publishing maven Martyn Daniels (who was our guest on "The Money Issue - How will Authors Survive in the Digital Future?" April 5th) Kate is one of the few authors who "gets it" about the new digital media age, and who is already using it in highly creative ways. Reader in Creative Writing and New Media at De Montfort University, Kate currently teaches the online MA in Creative Writing and New Media. She could well be considered the prototype "Author 2.0". So join us as we ask her all the most important questions about the next step in the evolution of the author. Also on the show this week: in a wonderfully virulent attack, legendary science fiction author Orson Scott Card lays into JK Rowling. Louise Hay is a one-woman publishing phenomenon and one of the best-selling authors in history. We discuss what has got her to the top and kept her there. Also: music and politics - the campaign soundtracks are put to the test and we ask whether original creative works are used or abused by politicians. And HarperCollins are making hundreds of videos of their authors - we ask why? On the panel this week are Donna Ballman, Richard Howse, Eve Harvey and very special guest Kate Pullinger. In the Ustream chatroom 8pm GMT everyone was amazingly polite and attentive. Join us next week to try to get us as off-topic as possible.Litopia After Darkhttp://podcast.litopia.com/Still Audio #18 - Late SunriseMinimal clicks, field recordings and lush ambience all round. Rhythmic, but not overly dancy. Also includes not one but two tracks from the excellent Insectorama label. Why? Because I simply couldn't decide which one to include. It's all good.
]]>11 May 2008 @ 04:13 am +0000
http://www.stillaudio.com
Still Audio: Calm, Free ElectronicaMinimal clicks, field recordings and lush ambience all round. Rhythmic, but not overly dancy. Also includes not one but two tracks from the excellent Insectorama label. Why? Because I simply couldn't decide which one to include. It's all good.
Track 1
Artist Country: Russia
Artist: Ivity
Release: Blur EP
Track: 1/Blur
URL: http://www.insectorama.de/index.php?m=3
Track 2
Artist Country: Greece
Artist: dimonib (Nikolis Dimosthenis)
Release: Auxiliary Outputs LP
Track: Auxiliary Output 1.6
URL: http://www.deepindub.org/did019-dimomib-auxiliary-outputs-lp/
Track 3
Artist Country: Ukraine
Artist: Pasha Slatkin
Release: First Dive (Compilation)
Track: Heat Of Breath
URL: http://www.deeplimit.net/en/release/dplm08/
Track4
Artist Country: Netherlands
Artist: Flip and Tou
Release: Dynastic
Track: 7/Row Ya Boat
URL: http://www.insectorama.de/index.php?m=3
Still Audio: Calm, Free Electronicahttp://www.stillaudio.comShow 56 KidsCastUK To PLAY or DOWNLOAD this show click [ KidsCastUK Show ]
*Sketches etc* =============
* Dial a Joke Lines 1 - 4 {#Background music: Laugh Track (The Black Math Experiment)};
* Lady Penelope Dinner party;
* Pointless Things To Do On The Wireless -Video-Games(The Old Duffer Network);
#Music# ======= # {Show Start} Not on The Radio (Geoff Smith); # 01-Nerve Pixies(James Consterdine); # 02-You've Got To - Norman Cook Mix(The Young Punx); # 03-I Took Your Boyfriend(Chrissy)-Edited; # 04-In The Circle -Neikka Rpm Mix(Hungry Lucy); # 05-Puppet Got Brand New String(Sandie Shaw); # 06-Rockall(The Young Punx); # 07-Autumn Song(Manic Street Preachers); # 08-Hey(See Spot Groove); # 09-Homeless Samurai(Reincarnationfish).
Coming soon EXCLUSIVELY to our sister show KidsCastSCiFi John Latham a scientist and Engineer thinks to himself, first you have to find a way to travel through time. Then if you succeed, what will you find when you get there wherever there actually is. Will you create situations that affect your own existence in the future Can you get back to your own time, or will you be trapped forever to that place and time that you so desparately wanted to travel to? Find out in The Sphere of Time, coming soon.
KidsCastUK now available on VIDEO, see our show page or our website for the latest show
The MP3 file for this show contains our show icon file, if this poses a problem to your Mp3 player, please let us know stuff@KidsCast.co.uk and we'll make a special file available for you. If you download using iTunes, you can remove the icon and enhanced tags by selecting our podcast in your podcast listings, RIGHT click then select CONVERT ID TAGS on the ID3 Tag Version drop down select v1.1 and click OK that will make the file ok for your player.
]]>11 May 2008 @ 02:09 am +0000
http://www.themillertellshertale.co.uk
Americana - The Miller Tells Her TaleBuddy Miller: Shelter Me (The Universal United House Of Prayer,New West)
Dave Carter & Tracy Grammer: I Go Like The Raven (Drum Hat Buddha,Signature Sounds)
Paul Craft: Hank Williams, You Wrote My Life (Brother Jukebox,Strictly Country Records)
Fayssoux: Save It! Save It! (Early,Red Beet Records)
I See Hawks In L.A.: Carbon Dated Love (Hallowed Ground,Big Book Records)
Two Fingers of Firewater: Endless Highway (Two Fingers of Firewater,Chiller Records)
Adam Puddington: Deer In the Headlights (For The Meantime,Hay Sale Records)
Caroline Herring: Heartbreak Tonight (Lantana,Signature Sounds)
Boo Hewerdine: Dragonflies (Toybox No 1,Navigator Records)
Bryan Gorsira: Gonna Take Awhile (The Best Years,self-released)
Buddy Miller: I'm Pretending (The Hightone Records Story - Country,Hightone)
Buddy & Julie Miller: That's Just How She Cries (Buddy & Julie Miller,Hightone)
Buddy Miller: Midnight and Lonesome (Midnight and Lonesome,Hightone)
Jim Lauderdale & The Dream Players: I'm Almost Back (feat Emmylou Harris) (Honey Songs,Yep-Roc)
Blue Rodeo: Falling Down Blue (Tremelo,WEA Canada)
Jim Reilley: After The Falling Trees (Thank God I'm A Contrary Boy,promo)
Amalie Riis: Your Old Cello (Safe and Sound,Songcrafter)
Tobias Stenkjær: Stop What You're Doing (Blissfully Unaware,Songcrafter)
Old Lost John: Regina's Bar (Promotion Disc,self-released)
Shawn Byrne: Goodbye For A While (But I Digress,self-released)
Americana - The Miller Tells Her Talehttp://www.themillertellshertale.co.ukDalecast Programme Number 241
]]>11 May 2008 @ 01:30 am +0000
http://www.dalecast.co.uk
DalecastLatest Podsafe Music
Dalecasthttp://www.dalecast.co.ukThe Really Short Show - episode 20
]]>10 May 2008 @ 12:01 pm +0000
http://www.comedy365.co.uk
Comedy 365Quizzes, contests and holdalls are featured today. Why not deactivatatronalise with some trick confetti?Comedy 365http://www.comedy365.co.ukClever Little Pod Summer Music SpecialThis special hour-long show brings you some of the best music from the previous 37 CLPs, ideal for summer driving, parties or just tapping your foot on the bus! Enjoy :-)
]]>10 May 2008 @ 11:39 am +0000
http://www.cleverlittlepod.com
Clever Little PodThis special hour-long show brings you some of the best music from the previous 37 CLPs, ideal for summer driving, parties or just tapping your foot on the bus! Enjoy :-)
Shownotes at cleverlittlepod.comClever Little Podhttp://www.cleverlittlepod.comOurobouros Podcast #52TRACK LIST
]]>10 May 2008 @ 10:47 am +0000
http://ourobouros.libsyn.com
Ourobouros PodcastTRACK LIST
1: The Haiku - Sleazy Pop Song
2: Echo Helstrom - Where I Sleep
3: Venus Verse - Dreaming Again
4: Of The I - Single Units
5: The Bastard Fairies - A Venomous Tale
6: The Stand Alone Empire - The Same Mistakes
7: Self Destructing Messengers - Seven Cigarettes
8: ddd - Drown
The Intro Music is an excerpt from 'Put You In Your Place' by The Sunshine Underground
All songs used with permission or are available under Creative Commons licenses.Ourobouros Podcasthttp://ourobouros.libsyn.comUnited Kingdom Talk Saturday 10th May 2008Saturday's edition of my three
times a week talk show. Get the podcast on Tues, Thurs & Sats from
WWW.UNITEDKINGDOMTALK.CO.UK
In todays show :
On the washing line. I've made an effort. "The Villa Uncut". How much does it cost to get a jammed safe open ? The ghosts of yesterday. It's all in a name. Old types of projectors & camera's. A messy house. Trouble for the lollipop ladies & men. Is there a catalogue of enigineers ? Different locations for the show. We have a new mayor in London - BoJo. More sausage rolls. The birds scare Jimmy. Who would wanna steal me ? Rolling down the hill. I have been "selected". Jimmy has yet another trophy. Is there a deluge on the way ? Today's show in video :
]]>10 May 2008 @ 09:00 am +0000
http://chrisreardon.co.uk
United Kingdom TalkSaturday's edition of my three
times a week talk show. Get the podcast on Tues, Thurs & Sats from
WWW.UNITEDKINGDOMTALK.CO.UKIn todays show :On the washing line.I've made an effort."The Villa Uncut".How much does it cost to get a jammed safe open ?The ghosts of yesterday.It's all in a name.Old types of projectors & camera's.A messy house.Trouble for the lollipop ladies & men.Is there a catalogue of enigineers ?Different locations for the show.We have a new mayor in London - BoJo.More sausage rolls.The birds scare Jimmy.Who would wanna steal me ?Rolling down the hill.I have been "selected".Jimmy has yet another trophy.Is there a deluge on the way ?Today's show in video :http://unitedkingdomtalk.forums4free.org/Email :chris@unitedkingdomtalk.co.ukwww.chrisreardon.co.uk
United Kingdom Talkhttp://chrisreardon.co.ukelectrical language no 122www.electricallanguage.co.uk
]]>10 May 2008 @ 08:54 am +0000
http://electricallanguage.libsyn.com
electrical languageMusic by Only The Sea Slugs, Frangar Non Flectar, Balbec, Amplifico and Dream/Clone ... shownotes and all links are at www.electricallanguage.co.ukelectrical languagehttp://electricallanguage.libsyn.comTBS 420 - Tea Under Lampost (9 May 2008)Hot Hot Hot Castle Hill Busting for the Loo McDonalds Toilets Teri Aki Tip and Tea Trauma CB2 Honky Claire
]]>10 May 2008 @ 08:36 am +0000
http://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=twinkle
'-' The Twinkleboi Show *The UK's Twinkliest Queercaster* '-'Sitting On Things Hot Hot Hot Castle Hill Busting for the Loo McDonalds Toilets Teri Aki Tip and Tea Trauma CB2 Honky Claire'-' The Twinkleboi Show *The UK's Twinkliest Queercaster* '-'http://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=twinkleTommy Tremendous Revistedipod version
I filmed Tommy a while ago, but I had a problem with the tape and wasn't happy with the edit. Here's the re-shoot.
]]>10 May 2008 @ 08:24 am +0000
http://liverpoolstories.blogspot.com/
Liverpool Storiesipod versionI filmed Tommy a while ago, but I had a problem with the tape and wasn't happy with the edit. Here's the re-shoot.
Liverpool Storieshttp://liverpoolstories.blogspot.com/Tommy Tremendous Revistedipod version
I filmed Tommy a while ago, but I had a problem with the tape and wasn't happy with the edit. Here's the re-shoot.
]]>10 May 2008 @ 08:24 am +0000
http://liverpoolstories.blogspot.com/
Liverpool Storiesipod versionI filmed Tommy a while ago, but I had a problem with the tape and wasn't happy with the edit. Here's the re-shoot.
Liverpool Storieshttp://liverpoolstories.blogspot.com/Bitesize A - 4 Places
10 May 2008 @ 07:54 am +0000
http://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=twinkle
'-' The Twinkleboi Show *The UK's Twinkliest Queercaster* '-'A short recording of a 4 places at once!'-' The Twinkleboi Show *The UK's Twinkliest Queercaster* '-'http://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=twinkle weather conditions changeable, it was bound to be an unpredictable qualifying session. Find out what happened in today's F1 Digest.
Sidepodcast : Your Weekly F1 Podcasthttp://www.sidepodcast.com/
tp://feeds.feedburner.com/bleepshow
Get every bleepshow ever made automatically: http://feeds.feedburner.com/bleepshow-archive
Get 35 tracks from emusic.com, absolutely free: http://bleepshow.com/go/emusic/
The fabulous bleepshow theme tune was written and performed by Giorgi Darsadze and Beka Gokadze, aka Action Sign. They are all kinds of awesome, go check them out.
http://bleepshow.com (stream and download more shows, get playlists)
http://myspace.com/bleepshow (add bleepshow as a friend, find cool artists)
Demos, promos, feedback, links, recommendations etc
bleepshow@gmail.com
Support the show and get 35 free tracks from emusic.com:
http://bleepshow.com/go/emusic/ - no DRM, no mess, no fuss
bleepshow with Pete Cooperhttp://bleepshow.com
>/">http://bleepshow.com/go/emusic/
The fabulous bleepshow theme tune was written and performed by Giorgi Darsadze and Beka Gokadze, aka Action Sign. They are all kinds of awesome, go check them out.
]]>
10 May 2008 @ 02:00 am +0000
http://bleepshow.com
bleepshow with Pete CooperDownload this bleepshow as an mp3: bleepshow #171
This is bleepshow, hosted by Pete Cooper
Bleepshow is all about great electronic music - A to Z series: H
Playlist for bleepshow #171:
Hamburglars and Rivers Of Disco - Nobody Can Do It Like U Can [No Type 66]
Headphone Science - Signal Return Remix [Observatory 14]
Home Affairs - After Listen [Observatory 28]
Hardmoon - Cilder Matro [Foem Crema 8]
Headphone Science - City Scape Tracer [Observatory 15]
Herotyc - Me Gustas [Bumpfoot 24]
Hymera - Push The Feeling On [Ouim 20]
Human Koala - Don't Run [Plex 2]
Heggmatech - There Is A Place [Yggdrasil]
Hapbt - Paranoia [Kikapu 42]
Get the latest bleepshows automatically: http://feeds.feedburner.com/bleepshow
Get every bleepshow ever made automatically: http://feeds.feedburner.com/bleepshow-archive
Get 35 tracks from emusic.com, absolutely free: http://bleepshow.com/go/emusic/
The fabulous bleepshow theme tune was written and performed by Giorgi Darsadze and Beka Gokadze, aka Action Sign. They are all kinds of awesome, go check them out.
http://bleepshow.com (stream and download more shows, get playlists)
http://myspace.com/bleepshow (add bleepshow as a friend, find cool artists)
Demos, promos, feedback, links, recommendations etc
bleepshow@gmail.com
Support the show and get 35 free tracks from emusic.com:
http://bleepshow.com/go/emusic/ - no DRM, no mess, no fuss
bleepshow with Pete Cooperhttp://bleepshow.com
p://m.podshow.com/media/11283/episodes/111711/gamesweasel-111711-05-09-2008.mp3" length="6.1799999999999997157829056959" type="audio/mpeg" />
ption>
]]>
9 May 2008 @ 07:16 am +0000
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/podcast/
The Crave PodcastThree guys, two girls, a pole-dancing game, and an interview with CNET.com's The 404 podcast squadThe Crave Podcasthttp://crave.cnet.co.uk/podcast/
tunes:subtitle>
The Sons of Tuireann wreak havoc amongst the Kings of the World in their quest to fulfill the fine laid on them by Lugh. This is Part 2 of 3 in the Saga of the Sons of Tuireann.
Celtic Myth Podshowhttp://celticmythpodshow.com/
kshalfhour?i=9BrF8H" border="0">
]]>
7 May 2008 @ 07:37 am +0000
http://hoskshalfhour.blogspot.com/
Hosks Half HourI thought I would sneak in a midweek episode of Hosks Half Hour, it's a bit unusual with rapping Reverand and odd stories about dogs. Still that's the way the world is heading these days isn't it.There also could be a record for the amount of times the words naked chubbers is mentioned? Although I will need to confirm with Norris Mcwhirter on thatThis is what is included in the worlds funniest podcast in this episodeSketchesDid we win the war despite Waddle missing a penalty?A local singerProstitutes are illegalDriving aroundProclaimers jokeHosk StoriesGoing to Tesco’sGymnasts lose points for removing leotard from arsePenis envy – look the penis stretching device!Don’t hotcock yourselfI wonder what Leonard Nimoy is up toA word a day – polyglot Definition of sad - The Hosk is at home Saturday night watching cable guyMan Stroke women is wankySongsThe Rapping ReverendThe Hosk does his paper workThe odd dog storyNews nuggetTo catch a peado you have to become a peadoJohn Prescott suffered from Bulimia for ten yearsSun lettersTot killed sexMuck upsIf you have any funny stories, funny news clips or anything remotely amusing on the web also if anyone wants to email me a recording saying their name or nickname and that you listen to Hosks Half Hour, then email me onhoskshalfhour@gmail.comIf you want to download the mp3 of the podcast click the title of this blog entry which is - Hosks Half Hour - Episode 33 - Gymnasts lose points for removing leotard from arse!if it doesn't download straight away please try it again, sometimes the server where I host the mp3 files is a bit dodgyDon't forget you can subscribe to this podcast by clicking on the link on the top left of the page, or the one belowPodcast feed Subscribe to feedfinally go and vote for me on digg, podcast alley, podcast pickle and all the other podcast directories even iTunes, go go go, VOTE VOTE VOTEhttp://digg.com/podcasts/Hosks_Half_Hour...with web-based podcatchers. Click your choice below:...with iTunes:Add to iTunesYou can subscribe to the podcast with this
http://feeds.feedburner.com/hoskshalfhour
Hosks Half Hourhttp://hoskshalfhour.blogspot.com/Episode 024 On this weeks episode of the Wallet Watcher personal finance podcast we discuss:-
]]>7 May 2008 @ 07:03 am +0000
http://www.btpodshow.com/shows/?show=walletwatcher
Wallet Watcher On this weeks episode of the Wallet Watcher personal finance podcast we discuss:- Post from your PC Fax to email solution Save on Royal Mail postage How do tracker share funds work? Keep those emails coming in to walletwatcher@btpodshow.com . We also have fresh articles on the Wallet Watcher blog including articles on tax rebate advice , the new Asus Eee PC 900 , free stuff online and how to get your credit rating free . This episode of Wallet Watcher is brought to you with GoDaddy and offers you great discounts on hosting and domain names. Use the following Wallet Watcher May 2008 GoDaddy vouchers to save you money - wallet1 gets you 10% off domain name purchases and wallet2 gets you 20% off orders over £25. Some restrictions may apply, see the GoDaddy web site for more details. We have also found some secret promotional codes this week for Dell voucher codes , Marks and Spencer Coupon Codes and discount hotel coupons . [DOWNLOAD MP3] | [RSS FEED] | [SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES] Wallet Watcherhttp://www.btpodshow.com/shows/?show=walletwatcherVOBES - No. 952 Phil Clark sends the Vobes his experiements with Ethonal in his large American car and ponders whether the new biofuel is actually any good for the planet. We continue our fascinating tour of the batavia windmill.
]]>7 May 2008 @ 07:00 am +0000
http://www.vobes.com/home.htm
A VOBES Show
Phil Clark sends the Vobes his experiements with Ethonal in his large American car and ponders whether the new biofuel is actually any good for the planet. We continue our fascinating tour of the batavia windmill.A VOBES Showhttp://www.vobes.com/home.htm
oks.
]]>6 May 2008 @ 12:24 pm +0000
http://www.thedailygoss.com/podcast
The Daily GossSo Coleen has a children's book out, or should we say her publishers do and she is endorsing it. Don't any of these celebs have enough talent to write their own stuff??? If you'd like to get in touch then please email us at info@thedailygoss.com or txt GOSS to 60066 followed by your message, (standard network charges apply).
The Daily Gosshttp://www.thedailygoss.com/podcast
]>
6 May 2008 @ 09:16 am +0000
http://aktoman.blogspot.com/
AktoMan - Podcasts powered by OdiogoI noticed last week that my Yahoo email address would be 10 years old today. The "Welcome to Yahoo! Mail" was received Wednesday 6 May 1998 at 08:34am. The greetings ends with We'll keep you updated with all the newest features on Yahoo! Mail. Let us know if you have any questions or comments! All the best, The Yahoo! Mail Team. P.S. If you're looking for help, click on our Help Desk It has been a useful service, as other email addresses have changed as my ISP has changed, or employer has changed. The interface has changed slightly over the years, and the space made available has increased. But it is still the same system that I subscribed to 10 years ago. Long may it remain.Click here to playAktoMan - Podcasts powered by Odiogohttp://aktoman.blogspot.com/
- Turn You Back, Scope - Lost on Collins (Pete Moss Mix), Cosmic Belt - Back in Berlin, Armin Van Buuren - If You Should Go, Pryda - F12, Jay Lumen v Nina Simone - Feeling Good, Andrew Bennett - Precious, Pole Folder - Babylon Days (Dousk Yadda Mix), So Sick - Sick 4, Michael Cassette - Shadows Movement (Marks Cruise Control Edit), Super 8, DJ Tab - Helsinki Scorchin (Michael Cassette Mix)
The Evilrabbit Podcasthttp://www.evilrabbit.co.uk
f="http://www.yes-means-yes.com/" target="_blank">Yes Means Yes - Leave The Earth Behind
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3 May 2008 @ 09:25 am +0000
http://ourobouros.libsyn.com
Ourobouros PodcastTRACK LIST
1: Yes Means Yes - Leave The Earth Behind
2: Nada Surf - I Like What You Say
3: My Captive Audience - The Butterfly Effects
4: The Heavycoats - The First Time
5: Karmella's Game - One Phone Call
6: Mexicolas - Come Clean
7: Steriogram - Own Way Home
8: Novastorm - Painmarch
The Intro Music is an excerpt from 'Put You In Your Place' by The Sunshine Underground
All songs used with permission or are available under Creative Commons licenses.Ourobouros Podcasthttp://ourobouros.libsyn.com
-sales/" title="Car boot sales"> Car boot sales
This weeks episode of Wallet Watcher is brought to you in association with GoDaddy and offers you discounts on hosting and domain names. Use one of the following Wallet Watcher May 2008 GoDaddy coupon codes to save you money - wallet1 gets you 10% off domain name purchases and wallet2 gets you 20% off orders over £25. Some restrictions may apply, please see the GoDaddy web site for more details.
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30 Apr 2008 @ 01:55 am +0000
http://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=walletwatcher
Wallet Watcher This week on the Wallet Watcher personal finance podcast we talk about:- Car boot sales Convert your old mobile phone into cash Try an auction Investment funds explained Thanks for the emails, keep them coming in to walletwatcher@btpodshow.com . Be sure to visit the Wallet Watcher blog for articles on Secret promotional codes , cheap Edinburgh festival tickets and fringe tickets , collapse of Inside Track and the gifted deposit scam and C++ source code for investment calculator . This weeks episode of Wallet Watcher is brought to you in association with GoDaddy and offers you discounts on hosting and domain names. Use one of the following Wallet Watcher May 2008 GoDaddy coupon codes to save you money - wallet1 gets you 10% off domain name purchases and wallet2 gets you 20% off orders over £25. Some restrictions may apply, please see the GoDaddy web site for more details. [DOWNLOAD MP3] | [RSS FEED] | [SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES] Wallet Watcherhttp://www.mevio.com/shows/?show=walletwatcher
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SERMON: Asa's Tragedy: Failing at the EndCrossgar Free Presbyterian Church is now available on SermonAudio.com with the following details:
Title: Asa's Tragedy: Failing at the End Subtitle: King Asa Speaker: Rev. Gordon Dane Broadcaster: Crossgar Free Presbyterian Church Event: Sunday - AM Date: 4/27/2008 Bible: 2 Chronicles 16 Length: 34 min. (16kbps)
]]>29 Apr 2008 @ 07:57 am +0000
http://www.sermonaudio.com/crossgarfreepres
Crossgar Free Presbyterian ChurchA new MP3 sermon from Crossgar Free Presbyterian Church is now available on SermonAudio.com with the following details:
Title: Asa's Tragedy: Failing at the End
Subtitle: King Asa
Speaker: Rev. Gordon Dane
Broadcaster: Crossgar Free Presbyterian Church
Event: Sunday - AM
Date: 4/27/2008
Bible: 2 Chronicles 16
Length: 34 min. (16kbps)Crossgar Free Presbyterian Churchhttp://www.sermonaudio.com/crossgarfreepres
his house.
His daughters rushed to meet him. At first he told them nothing of The Beast, but as he gave Beauty her the rose he said sadly:
“Here is what you asked me to bring you; you little know what it has cost.”
Later that evening he told his family of his adventures from beginning to end, and then his daughters wept loudly. The girls were very angry with Beauty, and said to her that it was all her fault, and complained bitterly that they should have to suffer for her foolish wish.
Poor Beauty said to them:
“Who could have guessed that asking for a rose in the middle of summer would cause so much misery? But as I made this mistake, it is only right that I should be the one to suffer for it. I will go back to the Beast with father.”
When the fatal day came she said good-by to her sisters and everything she loved. She mounted a horse together with her father, and it seemed to fly rather than gallop. They soon reached the avenue of orange trees, where statues were holding flaming torches, and when they got nearer to the palace, music sounded softly from the courtyard.
Her father led her to the little room where he had stayed, and there they found a splendid fire burning, and a delicious supper set out on the table.
After they had finished their meal they heard the Beast’s footsteps, approaching, and Beauty clung to her father. But when the ugly Beast appeared , she tried hard to hide her terror, and she nodded to him politely.
This clearly pleased the Beast. After looking at her he said, in a voice that might have struck fear into the boldest of hearts:
“Good-evening, old man. Good-evening, Beauty.”
The merchant was too terrified to reply, but Beauty answered sweetly: “Good-evening, Beast.”
“Have you come willingly?” asked the Beast.
Beauty answered bravely that she had come willingly to save her father.
“I am pleased with you,” said the Beast. “As for you, old man,” he added, turning to the merchant, “at sunrise to- morrow you will go.”
Then turning to Beauty, he said:
“Take your father into the next room, and help him to choose presents for your sisters. Take everything they would wish for.”
Then he left them saying, “Good-by, Beauty; good-by, old man”.
In the next room they found splendid dresses fit for a queen. And when Beauty opened the cupboards she was quite dazzled by the gorgeous jewels that lay in heaps upon every shelf. After choosing a vast quantity, she opened the last chest, which was full of gold.
“I think, father,” she said, “that gold will be more useful to you. We had better take out the other things again, and fill the trunks with gold.” So they did this; And at last the trunks were so heavy that an elephant could not have carried them!
“The Beast was making fun of us,” cried the merchant. “He pretended to give us these things, knowing that I could not carry them away.”
“Let us wait and see,” answered Beauty.
At sunrise, they went down into the courtyard, where two horses were waiting, one loaded with the two trunks, the other for the merchant to ride. And as soon as he climbed into the saddle, he went off at such a pace that Beauty lost sight of him in an instant. Then she began to cry and she went back to her room and fell into a deep sleep.
She dreamed that she was walking by a stream when a young prince came up to her and said, in a voice that went straight to her heart:
“Ah, Beauty! you are not so unlucky as you suppose. Only try to find me, no matter how I may be disguised, as I love you dearly. Make me happy and you shall be happy. Be as true-hearted as you are beautiful, and we shall have nothing left to wish for.”
“What can I do, Prince, to make you happy?” said Beauty.
“Do not trust your eyes,” he answered, “And set me free from my misery.”
When Beauty awoke, she began to think about the charming Prince she had seen in her dream.
“He said I could make him happy.” said Beauty to herself. “It seems that this horrible Beast keeps him a prisoner. How can I set him free? I don’t understand it. But, after all, it was only a dream, so why should I worry about it?”
She got up to explore the castle, but she did not see anyone or hear any sound, and she began to find it rather dull.
Only that evening, after supper, she heard the Beast coming, and she trembled with fear at what it might do.
But he only said: “Good-evening, Beauty.”
She answered cheerfully and managed to hide her terror. He spoke politely to her for about an hour, and asked her all about her life with her family.
Then he said in a gruff voice:
“Do you love me, Beauty? Will you marry me?”
“Oh! what shall I say?” cried Beauty, for she was afraid to make the Beast angry by refusing.
“Say `yes’ or `no’ without fear,” he replied.
“Oh! no, Beast,” said Beauty hastily.
“Since you will not, good-night, Beauty,” he said.
And she answered, “Good-night, Beast,” very glad to find that he had not attacked her. And after he was gone, she was very soon in bed and asleep, and dreaming of her unknown Prince. He came to her and said to her:
“Ah, Beauty! why are you so unkind to me? I fear I will be unhappy for many a long day still.”
The next morning, she decided to amuse herself in the garden, for the sun shone, and all the fountains were playing. When she was tired she went back to the palace, and found a new room full of rare birds, so tame that they flew to Beauty as soon as they saw her, and perched upon her shoulders and her head. Some of them were parrots and cockatoos that could talk, and they greeted Beauty by name;
“Pretty little creatures,” she said, “Oh how I wish that your cage was nearer to my room, that I could often hear you sing!
When she left, she opened a door and found that it led straight into her own room.
After supper, the Beast paid her his usual visit, and before he left he asked her as before: “Beauty, will you marry me?” And when she refused, he gave her a gruff “good-night” and left her. The days passed, and every evening the Beast asked her the same question and she gave him the same answer.
And Beauty felt that that when she said, “No, Beast,” he went away quite sad. But her happy dreams of the handsome young Prince soon made her forget the poor Beast.
Her prince always told to let her heart guide her, and not her eyes, and many other equally baffling things, which she could not understand.
At last, happy as she was, Beauty began to long for her family. One night, seeing her look very sad, the Beast asked her what was the matter. Beauty was no longer afraid of him. Now she knew that he was really gentle in spite of his ferocious looks and his dreadful voice. So she answered that she was longing to see her home once more. When he heard this, the Beast cried miserably.
“Ah! Beauty, have you the heart to leave an unhappy Beast like me? Is it because you hate me that you want to escape?”
“No, dear Beast,” answered Beauty softly, “I do not hate you, and I should be very sorry never to see you any more, but I long to see my father again. Only let me go for two months, and I promise to come back to you and stay for the rest of my life.”
The Beast replied with a sigh:
“I cannot refuse you anything you ask, even though it should cost me my life. You may go. But remember your promise and come back when the two months are over, or you may be sorry, for if you do not come in good time you will find your faithful Beast dead.”
And then she went to bed, but could hardly sleep for joy. And when at last she did begin to dream of her beloved Prince she saw him stretched upon a grassy bank, sad and weary, and hardly like himself.
“What is the matter?” she cried.
He looked at her reproachfully, and said:
“How can you ask me, cruel one?”
“Ah! don’t be so sad,” cried Beauty; “I am only going to let my father know that I am safe and happy. I have promised my Beast that I shall come back. I would not cause him pain by breaking my word. He told me he would die if did not keep my promise to him.”
“What do you care for an ugly Beast?” asked the prince.
“Oh,” said Beauty, “It is not his fault that he is so ugly. He is a very kind beast.”
Just then, she heard someone speaking not very far away. She got up and then she suddenly heard her father’s voice. She rushed out and greeted him. She was home. Her sisters were quite astonished to see her, and there was no end to their questions about her life with the Beast.
Then Beauty asked her father what he thought could be the meaning of her strange dreams . After much thought, he answered: “You tell me yourself that The Beast, frightful as he is, loves you dearly and is kind and gentle to you. I think the Prince means that you should do as The Beast wishes in spite of his ugliness.”
But Beauty’s thoughts were full of her handsome dream-prince, and she could not imagine marrying The Beast.
When the two months were over, Beauty’s sisters begged her not to return to the ugly beast, but to stay with her family. At first she could not refuse them, and she stayed on for a few days more. Then one night she had a different dream from usual. She saw not her prince, but the Beast. He was lying in a cave and he looked ill and in pain. And then Beauty remember his words that he might die if she did not stay true to her word.
The next day, Beauty said goodbye to her father and all her brothers and sisters, and as soon as she was in bed she turned her ring round upon her finger, and said firmly, “I wish to go back to see my Beast again.”
Then she fell asleep instantly, and only woke up to hear the clock saying “Beauty, Beauty” twelve times in its musical voice, which told her at once that she was in the palace once more. Everything was just as before, and her birds were so glad to see her! But Beauty thought she had never known such a long day, for she was so anxious to see The Beast again that she felt as if suppertime would never come.
But when it did come and no Beast appeared she was really frightened; She ran down into the garden to search for him. Up and down the paths and avenues ran poor Beauty, calling him in vain, for no one answered.
At last, quite tired, she stopped for a minute’s rest, and saw that she was standing opposite a cave, and in it lay the Beast–asleep. Quite glad to have found him, she ran up and stroked his head, but, to her horror, he did not move or open his eyes.
“Oh! he is dead; and it is all my fault,” said Beauty, crying bitterly.
But then, looking at him again, she fancied he still breathed. She fetched some water from the nearest fountain and sprinkled it over his face. Slowly, he began to open his eyes.
“Ah Beauty,” he said faintly, “now you see what happens when you do not keep your word.”
“Oh! Beast,” she cried. “I never knew how much I loved you until now, when I feared I was too late to save your life.”
“Can you really love such an ugly creature as I am?” asked the Beast. “You only came just in time. I was dying because I thought you had forgotten your promise. But go back now and rest, I shall see you by and by.”
Beauty went back to the palace, where supper was awaiting her; and afterward the Beast came in as usual, and asked about the time she had spent with her family, and if they had all been very glad to see her.
And when at last the time came for him to go, and he asked, as he had so often asked before, “Beauty, will you marry me?” She answered softly,
“Yes, dear Beast.”
As she spoke a blaze of light sprang up before the windows of the palace; fireworks crackled and guns banged, and across the avenue of orange trees, in letters all made of fire-flies, was written: “Long live the Prince and his Bride.”
Beauty meant to ask the Beast what it all meant: but he had gone. In his place stood her long-loved Prince! At the same moment, two ladies entered the room. Both were splendidly dressed, but one especially so. Her companion said:
“Well, Queen, this is Beauty, who has had the courage to rescue your son from the terrible magic spell that turned him into a Beast. They love one another, and your consent to their marriage is all they need to make them perfectly happy.”
“I agree with all my heart,” cried the Queen.
And then she tenderly embraced Beauty and the Prince.
“Now,” said the Fairy to Beauty, “I suppose you would like me to send for your father and sisters ?”
She did so. The marriage was celebrated the very next day, and Beauty and the Prince lived happily ever after.
And that was the story of Beauty and the Beast.
Storynory, Audio Stories For Kidshttp://storynory.com
ie.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
]]>
7 Apr 2008 @ 10:25 am +0000
http://storynory.com
Storynory, Audio Stories For KidsDownload the audio
The final part in our series about the Trojan War brings our ship-wrecked hero, Odysseus back home after 20 long years away. He arrives on his rocky island kingdom of Ithaca disguised as a beggar and finds that his palace is full of suitors wooing his wife, the faithful Queen Penelope. He and his son Prince Telemachus plot a fearful revenge.
This story is full of both exciting fights and touching moments of recognition - none more so than when the faithful dog Argos, lying on dung heap, senses his master. We round off the tale with some moving verses from Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Read by Natasha. Duration 20.48 minutes.
After the war ended, not all the Greeks enjoyed a pleasant home-coming. King Agamemnon went home to his queen, the evil Clytemnestra – and while he was relaxing in his bath, she plunged a dagger into him. The cleverest of the Greeks, wily, red-headed Odysseus spent ten more years sailing home to his lovely queen Penelope. When we last left Odysseus, his ship had been wrecked by a storm. All his crew were drowned, but he was washed up on shore, half dead. He managed to crawl to some bushes by the mouth of the river, and there he fell into a deep sleep.
The island was ruled by a wealthy, sea-faring people. It just so happened that the King’s Daughter - the lovely Nausicaa - had come down to the river with her maids. They were all playing with a ball , and one time it splashed into a swirling pool of the river. The maids shrieked with laughter, and their cries awoke the sleeping warrior.
He clambered out of the bushes, covering his naked, sea-tossed body with leafy branches. The servant girls let out squeals when they saw him – but Princess Nausicaa calmly asked him who he was and how he came to be there. The stranger replied:
“Princess. Your beauty is so great –are you a goddess or a mere mortal? In either case, I stand here at your mercy. My ship was wrecked in the great storm last night. My crew are drowned and I have lost everything.”
For once, the long-suffering Odysseus was in luck. The people of the island respected all who risked their lives at sea. The princess led the stranger to her father. When the king learned that their guest was Lord Odysseus on his way home from Troy, he prepared a great feast in his honour. Then he ordered a ship to be made ready to take him home. He filled a sea-chest for him with rich gifts – sumptuous robes, a golden cauldron, and a handful of jewels.
The ship carried Odysseus home to his rocky kingdom on the island of Ithaca. After 20 years away, he was far from certain what sort of welcome he would receive, and so he asked to be put on shore in a quiet harbour away from the town. There he hid his sea chest in a secret cave, and wrapped himself in beggar’s rags. Wearing this disguise, he climbed up a rough path. He came to the part of the island where pigs were kept. As he approached the hut of the pigs’ keeper, some fierce dogs rushed out at him. They were about to tear at his limbs - a fine welcome home - but just in time the keeper appeared and called them off.
“You should be more careful,” he scolded, “for the gods would be angry with me if my dogs ripped apart an innocent stranger – if you are, indeed, an innocent stranger.”
Odysseus recognised the man as his old servant, Eumaeus. He was a good man, and he honoured the Greek tradition of giving food and shelter to strangers. In fact, in the Greek language there was just one word for both stranger and guest – because all strangers should be honoured as guests . That night the two men sat up talking. Eumaeus explained that his master was King Odysseus who had been away for twenty long years, and was almost certainly dead by now, but his loyal wife Queen Penelope would not believe it. Now his palace was full of scoundrels who ate his food and drank his wine. They demanded that Penelope pick one of them to marry, but she refused. She told them that should could not marry until she had finished sewing her wedding dress. She worked all day and every night she unpicked her work, so that it was never done.
Her son, Prince Telemachus, had taken a ship and gone in search of his father – but he had found no news. He was expected back any day now. The suitors of Penelope had set up a watch down at the harbour, and they planned to ambush and murder him on the road to the palace.
Odysseus listened to all this but did not say who he really was.
The next morning, the swineherd pointed him on the road to the town. Odysseus set out – and on his way he met his son, Prince Telemachus, who was smart enough to take a back route to avoid an ambush. The two men walked along – a tramp and a prince side-by-side. Then Athene, the wise goddess, made Odysseus appear as his true self – younger, stronger, and richly dressed. Telemachus was amazed. He realised that this sudden transformation must be the work of a god or goddess - and then he understood that the man standing before him was his father who had left him as a baby. After they had embraced each other for a long time, they hatched a plan. Telemachus would return to the palace alone, and Odysseus would follow on, dressed as a beggar, and accompanied by the loyal swineherd. No matter how many insults his wife’s suitors flung at him, they would keep their tempers till the moment was ripe for revenge.
Later that day, Odysseus and the swineherd approached the town. On the way they were met by a man they both knew - a servant who kept the goats. When he saw the two shabbily dressed men he called out.
“Well look what we have here! One piece of filth sticking to another piece of filth. Old pig-keeper, what are you taking that garbage to the palace for? All he’ll get there is a sound beating.”
Odysseus was sorely tempted to batter the man, but he knew he must keep his temper for now, and so he and the loyal swineherd walked past.
Not far from the town there was a pile of dung and rubbish. Lying on top of it was a sad old dog who had been cast out of the palace by the suitors. The dog’s name was Argos, and in his prime he had been a fine hunting hound – the favourite of Odysseus. Now he was all but broken. The moment that Odysseus came near, he sensed his master’s scent. He lifted his muzzle from the dung heap and thumped his tail. Odysseus saw him, and went over to pat his faithful animal on the head. Argos licked his master’s hand. He was happy for the first time in many years. And a few moments’ later he breathed his last.
Inside the palace, they found the suitors feasting. Odysseus went round the tables, begging for food. Some of the suitors threw him some scraps, but their leader was more cruel. He turned to the swineherd and said,
“Keeper of Pigs – why do you drag this old corpse into our dining room. Don’t we have enough beggars and pests in this town? Now kindly throw him out before I do much worse to him.”
And Eumaeus, the swineherd, replied:
“My lord Odysseus was always kind and respectful to old soldiers w ho were down on their luck. It is his food and wine that you are helping yourself to – and he would gladly spare a few morsels.
At this the leader of the suitors flew into a rage. “Fine words, swineherd,” he cried. “And this is what I think of your advice !” With that, he picked up a chair and flung it at Odysseus. It hit him on the shoulder. All the suitors burst out into laughter and started to pelt Odysseus and the swineherd with food. They both kept their cool, and retreated further into the palace.
Emmaeus found the old nurse who had looked after Odysseus as a baby. He said that the stranger was weary from tramping, and asked if she would bathe his feet. She gladly fetched hot water and began to do as she was asked. As she washed him, she could not help but notice a scar on the stranger’s leg. Odysseus had gone out hunting as a young man, and the boar had charged him and dug its tusk into his leg. She recognised the scar at once.
“My Lord,” she said. “You are home at last. Let me rush to your poor queen and let her know this wonderful news.”
“Hold still,” said Odysseus. “One of the servants might hear her rejoicing and my secret will be out. Don’t breathe a word to a soul, not even to fair Penelope.”
The good old nurse swore that she would keep her master’s secret.
As he walked back along the corridor, a maid spat at him and told him get out of the palace with his begging bowl.
That evening, as Odysseus was sitting on the porch of the palace, along came a real beggar. His name was Irus and he was a complete scoundrel – a cheat and a sneak thief. He was a favourite of the suitors who recognised him as a kindred spirit. Irus was not pleased to see a rival beggar around the palace, competing with him for scraps.
“Get up and get out, you filthy swine,” he said. “Make yourself scarce before I box you around the ears.”
“What’s got into you?” replied Odysseus. “I’ve done you no harm. You’d better keep your mouth shut or you’ll be the one on the wrong end of a beating.”
“Are you threatening me old man?” said Irus. “Well stand up so I can punch your lights out.”
One of the suitors overhead the two old tramps quarrelling and thought it was hilarious. He ordered them both inside so that the suitors could enjoy the spectacle of a beggar’s boxing match.
A space was cleared in the middle of the dining hall. The suitors placed bets on which tramp would knock the other out first. Irus was the clear favourite to win. But then the two men stripped down for the fight. Odysseus’s mussels glistened and all could see that he was built like an ox. Irus began to tremble with fear – but it was too late.
The leader of the suitors whose name was Antinous– swiftly changed his wager to back the newcomer. He called out to Irus –
“You’ve filled your fat belly with scraps from our table – old goat that you are - but now it seems your going to get what’s coming to you.”
Odysseus hit Irus with a glancing blow and he was out cold. The servants dragged him out by his feat and threw him on the dung heap beside the corpse of old Argos.
The suitors gave Odysseus his reward for his victory: scraps of meat from their plates, but Antinous said to Odysseus:
“That was a good hit from an old swine like you, but don’t get any ideas get above yourself, or you’ll soon be out on your ears.”
Later that night, Odysseus and Prince Telemachus, held a secret conference. This is what Odysseus told his son to do. He must tell his mother to call the suitors together and tell them that she had made up her mind to hold an archery contest. She would marry the man who could string her husband’s old bow and shoot the straightest arrow from it.
Penelope agreed to this idea because she knew that the only man who was strong enough to string her husband’s bow was her husband himself. She thought the contest was a cunning way to show the suitors that not a single one among them was the equal of her true husband.
The next morning the suitors gathered in the dining hall for the contest. They set up a target at the end of the room, and Telemachus handed his father’s great bow to the first to try his aim. But the suitor could not even bend the bow, let alone fire it. The others all laughed at him for being so feeble, but not for long, for none of them had the strength to string the bow. At last, their leader, Antinous took it in his hands, and though he could bend it just a bit, he was far from able to hook the string over its end.
“Fair Penelope must be laughing up in her chamber,” he said. “A fine trick this is her hers, for there’s no man alive who could string this bow.”
Then Odysseus said, “I was once handy with a bow and arrow. I pray let me try my hand.”
The suitors all laughed at the tramp’s boast. But Antinous said, “Certainly. If you string the bow for me I will reward you with gold. If not, I shall beat you within an inch of your useless old life.”
At this, Odysseus picked up the bow and tried it for weight, balancing it in his hand. The suitors mocked him for this display.
“Thinks he’s an expert, he does,” they jeered.
Then he placed the bow upright on the ground. He leant into it, and hooked the string over the end with ease. At first the suitors were astounded. And then they realised that the beggar was the king whose palace and hospitality they had been abusing, and whose wife they had been wooing. The realisation came too late to save their skins, for soon Odysseus was letting arrows fly from the bow and picking them off one by one.
One of the suitors who was better mannered than the others tried to bargain with the king. He swore that if he would spare their lives they would pay him back three times over for what they had taken. But Odysseus replied that if they wanted to save their lives they had better fight.
Several men charged him with their swords, but Odysseus was swift at letting the arrows fly.
And so Odysseus and his son Telemachus dealt with all the suitors. At the end of the battle not one was left alive. Now Odysseus told his son to fetch Penelope.
But when Penelope saw her husband she could not be sure after so many years that it was really him.
“Dearest Queen, how can you be so hard-hearted when you see your husband here before you after twenty long years, ” pleaded Odysseus.
And Penelope still was not sure whether or not to believe her own eyes. So she decided to test him. She called the old nurse and told her to move the bed out of their room and prepare it for the stranger in the next room along the corridor.
“How can that be?” asked Odysseus. “If it is my bed, than nobody could move it. For I made it myself, and one of its pillars is the olive tree that grew on this spot where I build the bedroom with my own hands.”
And then Penelope knew that the man before her truly was her husband, Lord Odysseus, for whom she had waited twenty long years. She threw her arms around him and wept for joy.
And that’s the story over the home-coming of Odysseus. It is also the end of the tales from the Trojan war as told by the Greek bard, Homer, who wrote two epic poems called the Iliad and the Odyssey.
But although our hero was overjoyed to be home, that was not the end of his travels. For Odysseus always longed to go and see new places, and after some time he again set out. The English Poet Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote a few lines about his unquenchable urge to sail the seas.
for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Storynory, Audio Stories For Kidshttp://storynory.comHalligan, Co. Down Ireland, Galway stories
